The Dear Adventure

Mommyhood.

I am somehow miraculously finding the energy to blog. Royal got his schedule thrown all off the last few weeks with all of our company coming to town and his nights and days got all jumbled. From day one he has been an amazing sleeper giving us 8-9 hours of sleep a night! The last week though he’d not been doing that, making for one tired mama with a constantly full coffee pot! This morning we were amazed to wake up to a very happy baby who let us sleep 11 HOURS!!! HEAVEN! I feel somewhat like myself again. Phew! So here I am…Baby in swing hoping I can jot down a few lines before my mommy duties start up again.

I am absolutely amazed that Royal has been in our lives for over a month already! I feel like my days are filled to the brim and there’s no longer enough time in a day. My house is not the spotless house I’ve always known and I never look quite put together when I leave the house anymore. Gone are the days of primping. I’m lucky to get a shower and when I do I swear I hear a screaming baby the whole time, only to get out and realize it was all in my head. What I wouldn’t give to have a hot bubble bath and a glass of wine…maybe someday.

Speaking of “maybe someday” I asked Scott if he would ever find my body parts attractive again, his reply: “Maybe someday.” “Maybe” on it’s own would have been bad, “someday” would also have been bad…but the combo…TERRIBLE! I’m still laughing about it. I was just so shocked that he didn’t even try to wrap it up a little more sweetly. (Haha.) Times have certainly changed around here. Luckily Scott still thinks I’m pretty with no makeup, baby spit up all over my clothes, and my hair up in some sort of form that resembles garbage. Can you tell I just feel so glamorous?

I don’t even recognize our life anymore, it’s been turned upside down by this little mister! Our schedule revolves around when Royal will eat next. Pretty much we have a 3 hour window to do whatever we want to accomplish or we’re sunk! Then you throw in the fact that he’s colicky between the hours of 2-7 or 4-9 and you’re really left with little time or energy. During the colicky hours I’m stuck on the couch with Baby placed on my chest, my hair dryer/vacuum sound app turned on full blast, and tired arms from bouncing the baby and constantly replacing his “paci” in his mouth. My best friend has become our baby wrap, as it is the only way I can accomplish anything while he’s fussing. I just wrap him to myself and then I can get some things done. (If you have or are having a baby and you don’t have some form of a wrap run out and get one! It gives you the ounce of freedom you crave as a new mommy.)

I absolutely love being Royal’s mom though. My joy comes from our daily snuggles and seeing him content. I am mesmerized by his every move. I lose track of time as I stare at him. He has the most hilarious facial expressions and I’m constantly laughing at how expressive he is. I even love his little bottom lip when he throws the biggest fit. There is no love like this. Never in my life would I have thought I could be alright with someone throwing up on me or that I would think a baby tooting is about the cutest thing in the world, but I do. He’s precious to me in every way.

So, even though I don’t feel like I have anything together right now its alright because I have a sweet little boy who loves me and a whole lifetime to get it all figured out.

Comments Leave a Comment
Categories Blogging

Royal’s birth story.

18 Aug

**If you don’t want to hear ALL about a baby being born please stop reading.**

I woke up at 5 am to my water breaking on July 31st, 2014. I didn’t want to alarm Scott as he was sound asleep but he started to stir, looked at his phone, and realized he had overslept for his early morning shift. He of course startled awake and about jumped out of bed but I told him to hold tight for a second because I was pretty sure my water just broke. I felt another gush and that confirmed it. It was such a God thing that he overslept as he would have already been at work and I would have had to call and wait for him to get home.

I then called labor and delivery and they told me to take my time coming in. The nurse told me to enjoy a shower and to get a good breakfast in because they wouldn’t let me eat once I got there. I felt completely normal at that point but at 6:30 my contractions kicked it into high gear and I told Scott and my parents it was time to get moving.

I was shocked at how painful my contractions were. I became speechless, as I usually do with intense pain, but as the pain intensified I started almost screaming. I’ve never known a pain like that before. They told me that Royal was positioned against my spine and that’s why it was THAT bad. Back labor is no joke, you wouldn’t wish it on your worst enemy. Ouch.

I continued in that same pain for a few hours but each time they checked I was still only dilated to a 2. The staff then strongly recommended that I get an epidural because my body was so tensed up from my pain that it put my dilating at a standstill. They thought that if I had an epidural it would relax me enough so my body could do what it needed to do. They were right. The minute I got the epidural I felt like a whole new woman. I was completely relieved of my pain. Phew. It was such a nice break. I had control of how much of the medicine I was getting, so I was able to keep feeling in my legs which was important to me as I wanted to be able to push fully when the time came. I would strongly recommend an epidural if you get to the place I was at with pain. There is no way I could have continued that way for over 12 hours.

A half hour after I got the epidural they checked me again and I had progressed to a 4. They then decided that they wanted to speed up the process and gave me pitocin in my IV drip. My parents had just gone down to the cafeteria when my midwife and nurse came running into the room and started flipping me onto my left side. They were really quiet but they had concern written all over their faces. I couldn’t figure out what was going on until they then tried flipping me onto my right and I could see the Baby’s heart rate monitor. Royal had been staying between 140-150 bpm during my pregnancy and labor but when I now looked he was at 70 bpm! I started to panic. They then gave me oxygen and kept moving me trying to give Royal some relief. My midwife asked another nurse to get the doctor and it became apparent to me that I was about to get a cesarean section. FINALLY his heart rate started coming back up after they had me about on my head and rolled completely onto my left side. PRAISE GOD! I have never been more terrified in my entire life. I am so thankful that the staff was fast acting and were able to help my boy and also save me from a c-section.

Apparently Royal had a negative reaction to the pitocin and that’s what caused the severe drop in his heart rate. After the pitocin was stopped my body took over and within an hour and a half I went from a 4 to a 10 and they told me it was time to push! AH! I couldn’t believe how quickly it went and I honestly didn’t feel mentally ready to start pushing. My nurse cleared the room of everyone but my mom and Scott, and began preparation for delivery. My epidural chose this moment to stop working. Yay! *rolls eyes* Natural childbirth time!

I started pushing at around 3:30 and was making really great progress until Baby’s head didn’t want to come the last part of the way. Once it was clear he wasn’t going to budge they attached the vacuum to his head and when my next contraction came I pushed and my midwife pulled….nothing. He wouldn’t come. I took my deep breathe and pushed again…the vacuum then snapped off his head. It was then decided that I would be getting an episiotomy. I was nervous about it, but at this point in labor, I was ready to be done and would have done just about anything to get my boy here! With that…he arrived!

Royal Matthew was born at 4:53 pm and was immediately placed on my chest. My mom later told me that my face went from a look of pain and exhaustion to one of complete love and joy at my first sight of him. I’ve been made a believer of “love at first sight.” I looked over at Scott and I could see how in love he was with our baby and was touched as his tears flowed freely down his cheeks. The proud daddy did the honors of cutting the umbilical cord and with that we were separate.

I was in awe at Royal’s beauty and also at how big he was! All the doctors had been telling me what a tiny baby I would be getting, and here I was holding a 7lb 6oz 20inch boy! I couldn’t believe that all of him fit in my belly! All that mattered to me was that he was finally here and he was healthy!! On the APGAR test he scored an 8 at one minute and a 9 at 5 minutes. The tech told us that she never gives a 10 so he was as healthy as it gets. God is so good!

Scott then got to hold Royal for the first time and once again his tears came. I have never been more attracted to my husband as I was in those moments. Seeing your tiny baby placed in the arms of the man you love is about as good as it gets. I can still sit for hours watching Scott interact with our son, it’s just so precious and sweet to me.

I finally have my family. It’s been such a long long road to get here but every step was necessary to get right where we are. I am so thankful for a God that made my every wish and dream come true with one tiny little boy’s entrance into the world! He’s my rainbow after the storm and my everything! There is not one thing I wouldn’t do for this little man and I’m absolutely alright with the fact that my world now entirely revolves around him and his care. I am taken with him. Everything about Royal turns me into mush! I can’t get enough of him! When I set him down to do the dishes or something else I immediately miss him. This is a foreign love I’ve never known before but it somehow feels completely natural to me. I.am.in.love.

Thank you everyone for your continued prayer and support, and please keep it coming as we now raise this sweet boy!

–Name meaning–
Royal: child of the King
Matthew: God’s gift

Welcome Royal Matthew, you are so very loved!

“For this child I prayed and the Lord has granted the desires of my heart”
-1 Samuel 1:27

•Photos by Olive Gray Photography•

Comments 3 Comments
Categories Baby, Blogging, Child birth, Family, Health, Marriage, My relationship with Jesus, Parenting

Twosome.

8 Jul

As impatient as we are for our new little addition to get here we’re trying to remember that our time as a twosome is almost over. I’m going to miss the simple nights of us just sitting on the couch in complete boredom! I’ve been told that you’ll miss being bored when a baby comes so I’m trying to soak it all in! Scott is my very best friend and part of me is sad that we won’t have the alone time that we’ve had over the past 8-9 years, but now we’ll be sharing the time with a little guy who is 50% Scott and 50% me! I couldn’t think of a better person to be stealing time from us.

It will be quite awhile before we will be able to pack up the car for a day at the beach or a night out on the town so we’re trying to squeeze in as many of the activities we love while we still can. It’s crazy to think that we won’t have the same freedoms we have now but it’s so exciting thinking of staying at home as a family and just pouring out our love onto “Smalls.” Even changing diapers together sounds rather romantic to me. (Haha) Boy, times have changed.

I pray that we will always find the romance in the simple things of our new life and find joy even in the times of frustration. I can only see my love growing deeper for my husband as we now take on the role as parents! It’s incredibly intimidating but there’s no one else I would choose to walk this journey with. I can’t wait for the first moment I see my tiny son placed into Scott’s arms. Just the visual image in my head gives me the most intense butterflies. Scott will be such a natural father and will give this boy the most wonderful childhood!

I’m so lucky to have such an incredible life partner! God truly knew what He was doing when He brought us together at the tender age of 16. I stand in awe sometimes at just how well God thought out my life and how He knew what I needed so much better than I ever did! I am blessed. I could say it over and over and still not come close to expressing how extremely blessed I am! I hope I never forget.

So in these last few weeks (could be days) I will be content to spend every moment I can with the man I said “I do” to 3 years ago and patiently await the biggest gift we’ve ever been given: our son!

•Arrow Creek Photography•

Comments 2 Comments
Categories Baby, Blogging, Family, Marriage, My relationship with Jesus

Sweet.

8 Jun

Sometimes you hit a spot in life where everything around you is sweet! These moments come often but most times we fail to realize we’re standing in the middle of a sweet spot and before we can even recognize it the moment passes. Currently the sweetness around my family is so amazing that it would be more difficult to ignore it!

Within the next two months my family gains two new family members!! Everyday I wake up to a HUGE reminder (my belly) of the blessing coming soon to us next month and we’re so thankful that this month we’ll be celebrating my brother’s fiancé coming into our family! It’s making for a very busy time for our family but we wouldn’t trade it for the world!

June is packed with last minute doctor’s appointments, birth classes, traveling, bridal and baby showers, lots of time with family and friends, and the wedding coming at the end of the month! I can’t believe my brother is going to be someone’s husband by the time I climb back onto a plane to head back to Florida! I’m so very thankful for the woman God brought into his life and couldn’t be more proud of David’s choice in wifey. Rachel is one of the sweetest women you will ever come across and all of us can’t wait for her to officially be in the family! My only fear is that my bridesmaid dress won’t continue to zip as we get closer and closer to their big day! (Haha.) It’s going to be a whirlwind of a month and I’m so thankful my doctor cleared me to travel as I will be pushing the limits of my cut off! I will be traveling back home exactly a month out from my due date! I don’t think we could have cut it closer if we tried!

I don’t even want to talk about the following month because my anxiety is getting so high as we now approach delivery but I can not wait to meet my darling son!! Thank goodness there is such a reward that comes after child birth otherwise I don’t think I could keep my sanity knowing that pain is around the corner! Once we get back from Grand Junction we will have a few weeks to get settled back in and then my mom will show up on the 17th to help us prep and wait for “Smalls” to make his entrance into the world! It’s all getting so real as I look at our calender and realize all the things that seemed so far off are now getting crossed off the list! Each new day brings us closer to being parents!! It’s amazing and scary all at the same time. My excitement by far outweighs my fears though so I think that’s a good sign! EEK!

I am so thankful for the sweet spot I’m standing in and praise God for all the blessings He continues to pour down on us!

“Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the one who takes refuge in Him.” -Psalm 34:8

•Arrow Creek Photography•

Comments 2 Comments
Categories Blogging

Soon to be Mom.

10 May

This Mother’s Day I’ll be taking some time to reflect on the last year and how I thought I may never get the blessing of a child or the gift of being a Mommy. Words can’t even describe how thankful I am to be sitting here in my third trimester with a rib kicking baby boy only months away from making his way into the world. This little miracle will be the light of my life! I will never take him for granted because I know what an absolute blessing he is.

When you have lived the nightmare of miscarriage you are fully able to grasp how very precious a little life is. I can’t say I’m thankful for the loss we endured last July but I am thankful that we have this knowledge and through that the appreciation for our little boy. I pray that I am able to be the very best Mom I can be to our son and I know God will help me through all of the struggles just as He helped me through the last roller-coaster of a year. It blows my mind to realize that we have come completely full circle this July. How can a July of the first year be an absolute terror and the very next year be the best month of our lives?! I’m in amazement that our son’s due date fell in the same month! Talk about redeeming a month that I thought I would always dread! I will always cringe when we land on July 4th, in memory of our lost baby, but no longer does the entire month have a dark gloomy cloud surrounding it. God is amazing like that! He takes what was an absolute life shattering experience and turns it into something complete and beautiful. He never leaves our side as He reveals His glorious plans for our lives.

I am beginning to get so impatient for “Smalls” to get here! Every time he wiggles or drags his elbow across my stomach I just smile and wish I could cuddle him up! Then in the same breathe I get sad thinking of him not being in my tummy anymore. I like that he’s just mine right now and I don’t have to share him. (Haha.)

I was watching a TV show recently where the mom was helping her child get ready to leave for college and I started crying! Scott asked me what the heck was happening and I told him through tears “He’s going to leave me and go to college someday!!” My husband was shocked and said while laughing, “Alyssa, he’s not even born yet!” I blame the hormones but I know that I’m going to hold onto every one of these beautiful moments of him growing up like they are sand slipping through my fingers. I hear too often that children grow up way too fast and it terrifies me to think that I won’t be there for every cuddle, smile, and milestone he goes through! I can’t wait to watch him as he grows up and becomes the man God created him to be, although I secretly pray it goes by ever so slowly!

I am so happy and proud that I get to be the one he calls Mommy! Happy Mother’s Day!

Comments 3 Comments
Categories Baby, Blogging, Miscarriage, My relationship with Jesus

Vacations.

25 Apr

Vacations are a wonderful thing designed to help relax and unwind you by breaking from your usual daily grind. You picture yourself coming home completely at ease, as if hundreds of pounds of bricks have been lifted off your very tired shoulders. Why is it then that when you do head back home you actually feel a billion times more pooped than when you started out for your adventure? You seem to need a vacation from your vacation at this point!

Vacations have become a real treat for us because Scott is always working and the Air Force doesn’t hand out leave like candy, so we were extremely excited to be getting away for 5 uninterrupted days this past weekend! We packed up our car with way more things than necessary for a 5 day trip (gotta be prepared,) loaded our two doggies, made a coffee/donut stop, and we were on our way! Now, the way I’m about to describe this drive will come across as overly dramatic and a little bit exaggerated, I assure you it is not. The drive to Scott’s sister’s house looks as if it will be a breeze, simple directions and a 6 hour estimated arrival time, you know…easy! WRONG! Somehow this drive not only lasts an extra 3 hours but it feels more like 10 extra. I don’t know what it is but in the 2 times we’ve driven this path it actually seems to only be getting worse! It’s torture!! Anytime you take a detour to use the restroom or get something to eat it punishes you by tacking on another 40 minutes to an hour! You can literally run in, grab one thing you need, be back in the car within two minutes, and STILL it says you just won the prize of being set back 46 minutes!! It’s madness! Then take into account the fact that I now have a growing child inside me kicking my ribs at every turn of the road, making for an even more enjoyable travel day! (haha)

We finally got into Redington Shores 9 hours from our departure time and were met with a surprise baby shower from Scott’s family! I don’t think there could be a better reward following that drive! Family always knows just what you need! We were so blessed by all the gifts and pumped up at the thought of our little guy coming to join such a loving-doting family. I am thankful that both Scott and I were born into amazing families that make bringing a child into the world all the more joyous. I can’t even wait for him to meet them!
The rest of our Vacation flew by! We packed it to the brim with activities! We went to a Rays baseball game, ate lots of yummy food, went site seeing, walked the doggies, saw a movie, ate pastries and drank greek coffee, sat by the pool, Scott went deep sea fishing with his dad, shopped a bit, the guys tried to trap crabs, and before we knew it…time was up! It’s not fair how much more quickly Vacation time flies in comparison to regular time. For weeks and weeks we counted down to this time away and in a flash it was over.

Monday morning we packed our car once again, now almost to exploding with all our new baby gifts, and set out on the road. It’s always wonderful to see family but it never seems like it’s long enough! We had to just be thankful that we were able to come at all and revel in all of the new memories we made.

Monday also marked 100 days until Baby’s due date! I can’t believe how far into this pregnancy we are now! Being in the double digits makes me all the more impatient to snuggle my boy!! It doesn’t make sense to say but I miss him. I don’t know how you can miss and love someone you’ve never even met but I do. I can’t wait to lay eyes on him for the first time. Until then I’ll just have to soak in the wonders of pregnancy and the joy of feeling him wiggle and kick as he grows inside me.

So…back to Vacation exhaustion! (I get so sidetracked whenever I think of Baby. Whoops!): After another long drive home, that we somehow kept under 8 hours, we unpacked the car and dragged our tired bodies into bed. The next morning we did not awaken refreshed but completely drained! Scott then proceeded to work an 18 hour workday because of a scheduling fluke. I don’t know how he survived it, I really don’t. My body felt the toll of all the excitement of the weekend as I started limping around the house, not a preggo waddle for the record, and now I have the flu because I apparently also knocked my immune system down.

So, can someone tell me when I’m going to feel relaxed and rejuvenated from this vacation we just had?! I’m waiting!!

Comments 1 Comment
Categories Baby, Blogging, Family, Health, Traveling

Proud.

30 Mar

Proud Wife:

Happy to report that after over a year and a half of Air Force training Scott is finally able to start his job!!

It’s been a long and frustrating road for him and I know he’s relieved to have it behind him. Although the long wait for security clearance and training delays that plagued the first portion of his training were annoying, the last part was the most aggravating as he was put on medical hold and his classmates started finishing and then deploying without him. I was thankful to have him home for the extra time but when you’re married your spouse’s frustrations become your own. Scott was just ready to be through the program and to become “a real boy” as he says. (Haha.) The final stage of training is putting what he has learned into practice with 6 scenario flights which he passed with FLYING colors! ;) I am a very proud wife! It’s wonderful to see all of his hard work and time pay off.

It seems so odd that this chapter of our lives is at a close. Training is all we really know of the Air Force life so we’re both trying to figure out how to adjust to the next portion. I had such mixed feelings knowing training was almost over because I knew that what comes next is the ongoing deployments that come with Scott’s job. Most people in the Air Force don’t have frequent deployments that you can count on and they come more as a surprise than a guarantee. Scott’s job is not this way. He will be deployed every 5 months for 4 months, and once it starts it just keeps rotating like that. That’s a lot of time spent away from home and a scary thing to be overshadowing you as you grow a tiny infant in your belly.

A few weeks before his training wrapped up we heard rumor that Scott would be deploying in June, a month before the baby is due, and then a few days before he finished it was confirmed that he was on the list. As you can imagine this gave me a bit of a heavy worried heart but I prayed and tried to just let it sit in God’s very capable hands.

When Scott got over to his new squadron he was able to talk to one of his superiors and she said that she would do what she could but with his rank there wouldn’t be a whole lot of pull. He continued what he was doing and within a few minutes she came back and told him he was now assigned to a different flight and would be deploying a few months after the due date! Praise God! Now we can fully rejoice in Scott’s graduation to “real boy!” It’s still going to be hard to have him gone with the baby being just a few months old but at least he’s not going to miss the most important thing of seeing his son come into the world. He will also have time to spend bonding with the baby which is very important for both Baby and Daddy. We are thankful and blessed.

It’s going to take yet another adjustment to get us through this next chapter but as always God has us covered and He’s working all things together for our good! What comfort we have in that!

Proud Mommy:

We had our 20 week anatomy ultrasound this month which showed baby boy is progressing just as he should and he’s not lacking any of the things he needs to thrive on the outside! He’s in great health and is growing just as he should. He’s a little fellow though, coming in at the 25th percentile! I guess that’s what we get for nicknaming him “Smalls.” (Haha.)

You’re always so relieved when the Doc doesn’t have any concerns and just keeps saying how great things look! We are happy parents! He’s growing strong in there and his kicks are getting to be almost painful at times. A couple weeks ago I had my iPad resting on my stomach and the next thing I know it’s on the floor because the little mister kicked it off! I laughed and laughed.

It’s hard to believe that he will be here in just a few short months. Time is sure flying, but I hear it will start slowing down to a drag soon. I’m already growing impatient to snuggle him up!

(Here’s one of the latest looks at our guy! Scott pointed out, and it was funny to see, that the kid appears to have my nose! I love him.)

Comments 3 Comments
Categories Air Force, Baby, Family, My relationship with Jesus

Boy.

27 Feb

This month we had one of the most exciting appointments in pregnancy: the gender reveal ultrasound! I was on pins and needles for the entire week leading up to this day. I couldn’t wait to know what we were having so that I could fully picture the little person joining our family! I was also anxious to start getting all the baby prep done that was on hold because of this missing piece of information, like the nursery and picking out clothes for “Smalls.” I just couldn’t wait!

When Scott and I were praying for baby, as we started wanting to start a family, we prayed that the Lord would give us EXACTLY what we needed! We wanted the gender, personality, and everything else to be the perfect fit for us. We prayed to be given a child that Scott and I could be the very best parents to. We didn’t care what that looked like in God’s eyes because we knew He would only give us the very best! Gender especially, we were very open to whatever! We could see ourselves parenting a boy or a girl and loving them equally.

Since our first ultrasound, and maybe even a bit before that, I had an intense gut feeling that baby was a boy. I am one who gets my mind set on something and suddenly my heart gets involved and then I am completely sold on one idea and there’s no going back. Baby’s gender was this same way. I would get rather pouty when people told me they thought I was having a girl because I just felt in my heart my first child is a boy! Silly I know because there’s really no way to tell what the heck you’re having until you go to the appointment. Even the “wives tale” test told me “girl” and I wouldn’t accept it. Boy boy boy boy boy is all I could accept. Stubborn me!

The nights before the ultrasound I hardly slept! I just kept tossing and turning trying to reason with myself what the baby could really be. Needless to say, I pointlessly wasted a lot of Z’s doing this. There are so many feelings going into this appointment, you worry if you’ll actually be excited with the results and you wonder if you’ll really be able to parent one gender or the other. You face a lot of doubt in yourself during the lead up. I finally had to pray for God to calm my heart so that I could just rest in His perfect plan for us and this baby.

Finally the morning of the ultrasound was here! I drank my 16 ounces of water as directed and jumped into the car! My heart was racing as Scott drove us along the way and it sped even more quickly as he pulled into the parking space. The moment had arrived!!

Baby did NOT want to show us what was going on below. “Smalls” was sleeping or something because there was no rolling over or anything to give us a peek! I had to keep turning onto my side and back to my back just to try to get any type of movement. It’s like the baby knew what we were after and was not going to budge! Shy much? At last Baby started becoming more active, about 20 minutes into the appointment, and gave us what we were looking for. The tech told us “here’s some boy parts” a little less glamorous than “it’s a boy!” but…we’ll take it! I burst into tears, exclaiming “I’m so happy!” My gut had been right and I was getting my little boy. Scott was so excited he said “I got my hunting and fishing buddy!” We were already proud parents to this little guy. I then looked at the tech and told her “I can only hope he is this good at keeping his parts to himself when High School hits!” (Haha.)

We then sent this out to our parents and siblings to reveal the news!:

Scott then called up Krispy Kreme to order our blue filled donuts for our gender reveal party that evening! Yum!

At our small group we had everyone choose either a pink or blue clothespin as their vote and then at the end we had one of our friends bite into a donut and show the blue contents! “Boy!!!” It was just so much fun to share our joy with everyone! After the party was over I was able to post on Facebook our official reveal and we were so blessed by all the congratulations and well wishes of our friends! We were happy to celebrate with everyone even with the hundreds of miles separating us.

(Scott thought the blue teeth were a nice finishing touch. Haha.)

When Scott and I were younger we always said we wanted a boy first because then there would always be a big brother to watch out for his younger siblings. God gave us our wish years later in this little miracle! Our baby already means so very much to us and we’re happy to be having a son! We are blessed beyond belief!!

Now comes the hard part…finding a name…

Wish us luck!! xoxo

Comments 1 Comment
Categories Baby, Blogging, Family, Friends, My relationship with Jesus

Rainbow.

21 Jan

I am so thrilled to be writing this thankful, joy filled, blog today! God has sent a rainbow to us after that dark and scary storm that hit us in early July, we are expecting!! Our baby will be here around July 30th! I am so thankful to be standing here fully rejoicing that God has brought us through and given us a blessing I didn’t think we’d ever have.

In November, when I found out I was pregnant again, I refused to get my hopes up because you almost expect history to repeat itself after going through such a tragedy. Scott was immediately excited but for me…I kept my emotions at bay. Of course I was happy but fear gets in the way of you letting your guard down and jumping fully into the pool of blissful motherhood again. Then to add to my fear I started experiencing spotting at week 6 and I immediately believed it was happening all over again. The spotting was never bad but it continued every few days for 3 full weeks. I had really hoped we wouldn’t have anything, this go around, that would remind us of the experiences of miscarriage while carrying this baby. Nothing ever got worse with the spotting though and after those 3 weeks it cleared up! Man, I was so thankful for that!

I have been absolutely sick as a dog this go round!! Many find it odd when I tell them I prayed to be sick this pregnancy but I wanted a constant reminder that baby was in there and growing strong! God gave me my heart’s desire on that one! I couldn’t eat and lost tons of weight to the point where my ribs were showing on both front and back. I had to take a puke bucket with me everywhere I went which is such a glamorous accessory to any outfit! (haha) I was miserable but happy to have my nausea especially as the spotting continued. When it came time to travel home for Christmas in Colorado Scott put his foot down on the continuation of my sickness and forced me to call my doctor for a prescription to ease my nausea so that I could eat once again and for traveling purposes. The prescription immediately helped so I was able to avoid the dreaded “puking on the plane” embarrassment.

The trip home wasn’t at all what I had in mind! I planned on spending lots of time with all the friends I miss so much but because of my constant exhaustion, upset stomach, and the migraines that kept popping up I couldn’t do much but sit on my parent’s couch. My mother loved that I was her little captive and Scott enjoyed his trip because he practically was a bachelor the whole time. I was so thankful that I was able to spend lots of time with my family and have quite a few get togethers with Scott’s family, but it never seems like enough. I got to see maybe 3 of my girlfriends for 30 mins a piece and didn’t even get to see some of my other best friends which killed me but thankfully they were understanding of my condition and promised a raincheck. Pregnancy is cruel because it takes away your life immediately and you’re completely at the mercy of the baby your body betrayed you for! I guess it’s God’s way of preparing us for a lack of a life when baby actually comes and you’re now mommy! I apologize to anyone that felt left out or offended while I was home! I promise I too was disappointed that I couldn’t do more and see more of you!

A week after we got home from Colorado we went to our first ultrasound on my birthday! Anyone who knows me knows how much I hate birthdays but this birthday in no way was like any of the others! The second that baby popped up on the screen I was in love! All my fears and anxieties were erased and I was left with the most overwhelming sense of pride and love! Baby was dancing all around so the doctor had a hard time even getting all the pictures she needed because baby was so active. Scott was so cute he was completely blown away by our baby exclaiming all sorts of things like “WOAH! There’s it’s foot” “This is so cool” “Haha, look at baby kicking you!” It was such fun for both of us! We just held hands and soaked in this wonderful moment. The heartbeat was very strong and the doctor put me in the LOW RISK PREGNANCY category! I don’t think there has ever been such music to my ears! Everything looked just as it should and with that all my fears were gone and I finally gave myself permission to jump into that pool of bliss!!

I’m looking forward to being completely out of this first trimester so that I can feel better and have a bit more of my energy back! I don’t know why I ever thought pregnancy would be fun…it’s complete torture, but it’s all going to be worth it when I hold that baby for the first time. One more week….one more week….!!

I know for a fact that Scott and I won’t ever take for granted this wonderful blessing God has entrusted to us. We’ve gone through too much to ever not be thankful to be parents! Thanks be to God for sending us our rainbow baby!!

“I prayed for this child, and the Lord has granted me what I asked of Him.” -1 Samuel 1:27

Comments 1 Comment
Categories Blogging

New kind of Christmas.

15 Dec

It’s so odd trying to get into the Christmas spirit when you’re used to having freezing temperatures and snow covering the ground. It can’t possibly feel the same no matter how much cheer you put up in your home. I think the funniest thing is listening to Christmas music and realizing many around you don’t know what a “White Christmas” feels like or what it’s like to go “dashing through the snow!” How can you fully picture the song if you’ve never even lived through what a true Christmas is supposed to be?!

There are certainly benefits to living a “white SAND Christmas,” it’s nice not having to defrost your windows or needing to warm your car up before driving down the road, but oddly for the weeks leading up to Christmas I kinda miss it. Never thought I’d miss freezing but I do miss being able to bundle up in scarfs and cute winter coats, I haven’t put one on yet this winter.

There is hope for us this Christmas, as my parents gave us plane tickets home for our Christmas present this year! We won’t fully be missing our Colorado Christmas after all! We’re excited to be fully embraced in the cold and cheer for 2 weeks before returning to our warmer weather. This is just what we needed!

Today we are actually taking down our tree and all the decorations because we don’t want to come home to it after the new year. It’s completely strange taking it all down before the holiday has even come, but we had a little Christmas celebration for two on Saturday morning so that we didn’t have to haul presents back and forth on the plane. I’m glad we at least got a little use out of our tree this year and the experience was precious to us. We always treasure the time we get to spend alone together during this season, it always holds so much love and romance for us.

I’m beyond excited to be home and I pray your Christmas is filled with everything and everyone you love as well!!

Merry Christmas!!

And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God and saying:
“Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, goodwill toward men!” -Luke 2:13-14