Rainbow.

21 Jan

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I am so thrilled to be writing this thankful, joy filled, blog today! God has sent a rainbow to us after that dark and scary storm that hit us in early July, we are expecting!! Our baby will be here around July 30th! I am so thankful to be standing here fully rejoicing that God has brought us through and given us a blessing I didn’t think we’d ever have.

In November, when I found out I was pregnant again, I refused to get my hopes up because you almost expect history to repeat itself after going through such a tragedy. Scott was immediately excited but for me…I kept my emotions at bay. Of course I was happy but fear gets in the way of you letting your guard down and jumping fully into the pool of blissful motherhood again. Then to add to my fear I started experiencing spotting at week 6 and I immediately believed it was happening all over again. The spotting was never bad but it continued every few days for 3 full weeks. I had really hoped we wouldn’t have anything, this go around, that would remind us of the experiences of miscarriage while carrying this baby. Nothing ever got worse with the spotting though and after those 3 weeks it cleared up! Man, I was so thankful for that!

I have been absolutely sick as a dog this go round!! Many find it odd when I tell them I prayed to be sick this pregnancy but I wanted a constant reminder that baby was in there and growing strong! God gave me my heart’s desire on that one! I couldn’t eat and lost tons of weight to the point where my ribs were showing on both front and back. I had to take a puke bucket with me everywhere I went which is such a glamorous accessory to any outfit! (haha) I was miserable but happy to have my nausea especially as the spotting continued. When it came time to travel home for Christmas in Colorado Scott put his foot down on the continuation of my sickness and forced me to call my doctor for a prescription to ease my nausea so that I could eat once again and for traveling purposes. The prescription immediately helped so I was able to avoid the dreaded “puking on the plane” embarrassment.

The trip home wasn’t at all what I had in mind! I planned on spending lots of time with all the friends I miss so much but because of my constant exhaustion, upset stomach, and the migraines that kept popping up I couldn’t do much but sit on my parent’s couch. My mother loved that I was her little captive and Scott enjoyed his trip because he practically was a bachelor the whole time. I was so thankful that I was able to spend lots of time with my family and have quite a few get togethers with Scott’s family, but it never seems like enough. I got to see maybe 3 of my girlfriends for 30 mins a piece and didn’t even get to see some of my other best friends which killed me but thankfully they were understanding of my condition and promised a raincheck. Pregnancy is cruel because it takes away your life immediately and you’re completely at the mercy of the baby your body betrayed you for! I guess it’s God’s way of preparing us for a lack of a life when baby actually comes and you’re now mommy! I apologize to anyone that felt left out or offended while I was home! I promise I too was disappointed that I couldn’t do more and see more of you!

A week after we got home from Colorado we went to our first ultrasound on my birthday! Anyone who knows me knows how much I hate birthdays but this birthday in no way was like any of the others! The second that baby popped up on the screen I was in love! All my fears and anxieties were erased and I was left with the most overwhelming sense of pride and love! Baby was dancing all around so the doctor had a hard time even getting all the pictures she needed because baby was so active. Scott was so cute he was completely blown away by our baby exclaiming all sorts of things like “WOAH! There’s it’s foot” “This is so cool” “Haha, look at baby kicking you!” It was such fun for both of us! We just held hands and soaked in this wonderful moment. The heartbeat was very strong and the doctor put me in the LOW RISK PREGNANCY category! I don’t think there has ever been such music to my ears! Everything looked just as it should and with that all my fears were gone and I finally gave myself permission to jump into that pool of bliss!!

I’m looking forward to being completely out of this first trimester so that I can feel better and have a bit more of my energy back! I don’t know why I ever thought pregnancy would be fun…it’s complete torture, but it’s all going to be worth it when I hold that baby for the first time. One more week….one more week….!!

I know for a fact that Scott and I won’t ever take for granted this wonderful blessing God has entrusted to us. We’ve gone through too much to ever not be thankful to be parents! Thanks be to God for sending us our rainbow baby!!

“I prayed for this child, and the Lord has granted me what I asked of Him.” -1 Samuel 1:27

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One Response to “Rainbow.”

  1. Ann Maloney January 25, 2014 at 5:21 pm #

    Alyssa and Scott too, that is PERFECT!!! Dad and I are so happy for you and blessed! Praise the Lord! Our prayers continue for you and baby Dearborn!!! love, Mom

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