Soon to be Mom.

10 May

This Mother’s Day I’ll be taking some time to reflect on the last year and how I thought I may never get the blessing of a child or the gift of being a Mommy. Words can’t even describe how thankful I am to be sitting here in my third trimester with a rib kicking baby boy only months away from making his way into the world. This little miracle will be the light of my life! I will never take him for granted because I know what an absolute blessing he is.

When you have lived the nightmare of miscarriage you are fully able to grasp how very precious a little life is. I can’t say I’m thankful for the loss we endured last July but I am thankful that we have this knowledge and through that the appreciation for our little boy. I pray that I am able to be the very best Mom I can be to our son and I know God will help me through all of the struggles just as He helped me through the last roller-coaster of a year. It blows my mind to realize that we have come completely full circle this July. How can a July of the first year be an absolute terror and the very next year be the best month of our lives?! I’m in amazement that our son’s due date fell in the same month! Talk about redeeming a month that I thought I would always dread! I will always cringe when we land on July 4th, in memory of our lost baby, but no longer does the entire month have a dark gloomy cloud surrounding it. God is amazing like that! He takes what was an absolute life shattering experience and turns it into something complete and beautiful. He never leaves our side as He reveals His glorious plans for our lives.

I am beginning to get so impatient for “Smalls” to get here! Every time he wiggles or drags his elbow across my stomach I just smile and wish I could cuddle him up! Then in the same breathe I get sad thinking of him not being in my tummy anymore. I like that he’s just mine right now and I don’t have to share him. (Haha.)

I was watching a TV show recently where the mom was helping her child get ready to leave for college and I started crying! Scott asked me what the heck was happening and I told him through tears “He’s going to leave me and go to college someday!!” My husband was shocked and said while laughing, “Alyssa, he’s not even born yet!” I blame the hormones but I know that I’m going to hold onto every one of these beautiful moments of him growing up like they are sand slipping through my fingers. I hear too often that children grow up way too fast and it terrifies me to think that I won’t be there for every cuddle, smile, and milestone he goes through! I can’t wait to watch him as he grows up and becomes the man God created him to be, although I secretly pray it goes by ever so slowly!

I am so happy and proud that I get to be the one he calls Mommy! Happy Mother’s Day!

preggo lyssa beach

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3 Responses to “Soon to be Mom.”

  1. Sasha May 10, 2014 at 1:55 pm #

    Such a beautiful and touching story!! Congrats dear momma and may this be the best mother’s day to you! I know your other little one is dancing in heaven as he celebrates you as well.

  2. Trish May 11, 2014 at 9:12 pm #

    He makes everything beautiful in His time. What a touching blog.

  3. Ann Maloney May 12, 2014 at 11:17 am #

    Alyssa and Scott both, I am so very happy for you two! You will be wonderful parents. Yes, enduring the sorrow of miscarriage makes us realize that it is truly a miracle that little babies make it into this world! It makes us treasure them all the more! Thank you, Lord! Happy Mother’s Day, Alyssa! Glad you’ll be home soon, Alyssa and Scott! love and prayers, Mom/Ann

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