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Haven’s birth story.

27 Jun

**If you don’t want to hear ALL about a baby being born please stop reading.**061417_1Wednesday the 7th I was two days past my due date and boy was I done being pregnant! I woke up determined to get this baby girl out! I walked 8 laps around the neighborhood, I did squats, and every other activity that has worked to bring on labor for others. I started having mild contractions but nothing too severe so I laid down for a nap, because I had exhausted myself. I was prepared to repeat everything again after my nap. When I woke up though the contractions were still there and the pattern was what it needed to be, but they were no where near painful. Our hospital was set to go on “divert” at midnight for two days, so we would have to go to another hospital if she came during that time. We decided to load up and just see if they would let us stay to deliver. IMG_0289When we got to the hospital, at 8 pm, I was only at a solid 3 dilated and 65% effaced. The doctor on duty was the one who was scheduled to do my induction that coming Monday, so I think she was eager to help us stay because of that. She said she could strip my membranes and send us walking for 2 hours to see where that got us. We were willing to try it if she was. The stripping alone progressed me to a 4 and 75% effaced. So we set off on our long walk! IMG_0344I was really glad that I hadn’t done a second set of laps around the neighborhood because my legs were killing me by the end of our two hour walk and I’m pretty sure I’m now an expert of the hospital hallway layout. I could probably walk the halls with a blindfold and never run into a single wall. About 30 minutes into our walk the contractions really started picking up and by the end I could barely walk through them because they were so painful. I knew at that point that Baby Girl was on the way!
Side note: As I was pushing myself to walk through strong contractions poor Scott had to stop for a leg cramp. I was really worried that he would need an epidural but luckily he was able to breathe through the pain. ;]IMG_0476Once we got back up to labor and delivery they had all of my paperwork filled out and a room was ready for us. I guess they had already decided to keep us. Thank goodness because there was no way I was going home with how painful the contractions were at that point. The doctor checked me again and I was at a 6. She said her plan was to break my water and then maybe start pitocin as well. She recommended an epidural, because the combination would become very painful, so of course I took her recommendation. IMG_0315The anesthesiologist gave me the epidural and while we were waiting for them to come back in to break my water we decided to take a “before baby” selfie. Right as we snapped the picture I told Scott “I think my water just broke…but let’s take one more picture.” I’ll never be able to look at those pictures and not laugh. The doctor came in and checked me again and of course I was right. She said that she would be back in 4 hours to check on us. We planned to sleep a bit to rest up. We guessed that we wouldn’t have a baby until around 6 or 7 that morning. (HA!) While they were rolling me to change my sheets my epidural shifted and I started feeling all of the pain on my right side. Feeling labor pain on only one side of your body is completely disconcerting. I would rather have felt it on both sides at that point. (Of course this happened during the transition phase. OWWY!) My nurse called the anesthesiologist back in and tried to get it to work the way it was positioned, but nothing helped so they needed to redo it. They laid me flat on my side and gave me a whole new one. That immediately delivered relief.IMG_0366My bed was then elevated back up and suddenly Haven’s heart rate dropped into the low 70’s. Panic set in as the whole team rushed into our room, my nurse put an oxygen mask on me, and they started flipping me one side to the other trying to get her heart rate back up. Nothing was helping and time seemed to be ticking steadily along. I had been able to hear her heart beating on the monitor the whole time we were there but as I tried listening now it was almost completely silent. I looked at Scott with terrified eyes as I worried we were losing our girl. He whispered “It’s going to be alright, Lyssa” but I didn’t believe him. I asked him afterwards about it and he said he was just as terrified but knew he couldn’t express that and risk me getting more upset which would have made the situation worse. They started asking each other to “grab the doctor” or “where is the doctor” and lastly “I can’t find her.” This mama has never been so scared. Finally she came running in and said she wanted to check me real quick before we would move to a c-section. I was complete (10) and it was time to begin pushing! Apparently what happened was while I was on my side laid flat I progressed from a 6-10 so when they elevated me back up Haven shot down into position and that shocked her because it wasn’t a slow progression down. Poor thing. Luckily her heart rate evened out before pushing began.IMG_0563Two minutes after she checked me I started pushing. I told the doctor, when we arrived, that she would need to give me an episiotomy but she assured me that wouldn’t be necessary. I knew better though. After 4 contractions and less than 10 minutes of pushing Haven was ready to make her entrance. The doctor kind of laughed, after many efforts to avoid an episiotomy, as she said “you were right” she then gave me a tiny episiotomy and Haven was born at 2:02 am on June 8th!IMG_0423When Haven came out she had the cord wrapped around her neck two times and was bright purple. The doctor quickly removed the cord and immediately placed her on my chest. I was a little worried about her coloring but knew they would have rushed her off if they were really that concerned about it. Her color returned to normal after a few minutes of them messing with her on my chest. Phew!IMG_0329Our sweet girl weighed in at 8 pounds 1.3 ounces and was 20 inches long! I’m still in shock that I carried an 8 pound baby! She is perfect in every way. The first thing I noticed was that she had my lips which I had prayed for! Everyone says she looks just like me and I LOVE hearing that. Scott’s first words about her were “ALYSSA she has hair!!” (no one in either family ever does) and as she was delivered: “She’s so beautiful, Lyssa!” He is one smitten Daddy. Really, we all are!IMG_0527Haven is such a mellow baby. We’ve only ever heard her cry a handful of times. The rest of the time she just grunts or lays there peacefully. She’s just so beautiful that we can’t stop staring at her. I was so worried that my heart couldn’t hold all this extra love but the second I saw her my heart was overflowing with love for this sweet child. I can’t even begin to imagine life without her and she’s only been with us for 2 weeks.

Royal is OBSESSED with her! I thought he would resent her for coming but all he has for her is love. He is constantly snuggling her and giving her kisses. He always says “Haven, you bess friend!” (Haven, you’re my best friend.) and “I yuv you, Baby Haven!” I completely melt as I watch their bond as siblings forming. We’re just trying to teach him not to give her kisses while she’s trying to sleep. (Haha.)IMG_0306After two years of trials and heartache, Haven couldn’t have come at a better time to us. She came to remind us that good does come around again and that God is faithful even when we feel as though things will never get better. Her name means: a place of safety or refuge. Before we found out we were pregnant I stumbled upon Psalm 107:28-30. (Then they cried out to the Lord in their trouble, and He brought them out of their distress. He stilled the storm to a whisper; the waves of the sea were hushed. They were glad when it grew calm, and He guided them to their desired haven.) These verses gave me great encouragement as I hoped our safe haven would be around the corner. A week later we found out we were expecting and when we were told we were having a girl the name Haven soared to the top of our list. It just seemed to fit her so perfectly! She’s already living up to her name. She has healed our heartache and given us a place of  joy to rest in. I’m just so thankful that God chose her for us! IMG_0516
Thank you all for your prayers and well wishes, and please continue to pray for us to have guidance as we raise this darling girl!

-Name Meaning-
Haven: a place of safety or refuge
Marie: wished for child (also my middle name)

Welcome Haven Marie, you are so very loved!
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“He stilled the storm to a whisper;
the waves of the sea were hushed.
They were glad when it grew calm,
and He guided them to their desired haven.”
-Psalm 107:29-30 

•Photos by Olive Gray Photography•

Waiting on Baby Girl.

31 May

Dear sweet daughter,

You can come now. Daddy is home. Our bags are packed. All baby prep is done. You’re healthy as can be. My arms are ready to hold you. We’re just waiting on you, darling.

Love, your impatient (horribly uncomfortable) mommy

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•Olive Gray Photography•

Slow down.

29 Mar

I’ve always counted myself a strong woman. I can pretty much handle anything life throws at me and still stay standing. It’s mostly because I can plan my way through it. As long as I prepare I feel ready for it. My Type A personality tells me that as long as I stay busy and organized it’s going to all work out.

The problem with a Type A personality mixing with pregnancy is that you lose pretty much all of your organizational skills and brain sharpness to preggo brain. It’s really really really extremely frustrating when you’re waiting for your brain to engage and it never seems to catch up to the speed you’re used to functioning at. Then you end up working twice as hard to complete tasks that used to only take you a matter of minutes. You add that to the waddling that slows you down, doubling your daily load because of deployment, a two year old who you for some reason decided to toilet train a week after your husband left, running a business, missing and worrying for your husband while he’s deployed, preparing for a new baby, stressing if the Air Force will let your hubby come home early so he doesn’t miss the baby’s birth, being far from family, and tons of appointments, and I’ve gone almost completely mad!!! Seems like as soon as I start one project 6 more appear and I get interrupted 26 times in the process which then takes me a solid 10 minutes to remember where I left off. The proficiency is gone. I miss my brain. (haha)

During a deployment you need to be at your best and sadly I feel like I’m at my worst. I’ve found myself overwhelmed from the second I wake up to the minute my head finally rests on my pillow at night. I’ve been forcing myself to have even a few moments a day to just rest. It’s certainly taking a toll on my body and as I am now in my 30th week of pregnancy I have to remind myself that it’s okay to slow down a little. It feels like actual torture to sit when I have lists upon lists adding up in my mind. I’m telling myself that it’s alright if some things slip a little, no one else is going to notice but me. But…we’re always our own toughest critics.

The thing that has broken my heart the most this round is just how badly Royal has missed his daddy. He will wake up crying and when I ask him what’s wrong he says “I cry Dada. I miss Daddy.” I don’t know how to comfort his hurting heart and it’s impossible to explain the reasoning to a two year old.  He’s been dealing with separation anxiety too which rips my heart in half. I’ll hear him talking in his bed at night saying “Don’t leave me. Please don’t leave me” and if I go in the garage he’ll come running full speed from the other side of the house yelling “Mama!! Don’t leave me!!” I can’t even stand it. All I can do it hold him close and reassure him that I’m not going anywhere. I tell him that Dada will be home soon and I remind him of all the ways his Daddy loves him. I hate all of that the most. I wish I could just take away all the pain from his little tiny self.

I’m also working on being better at asking for help from others, and I’ll admit this is humbling for me. I HATE asking because I actually enjoy handling things on my own, but I know those around me want to help and I need to let them. Being a burden to others is my biggest fear, so I’m truly striving to be okay with it. I’ve found that people love you through their actions and I shouldn’t rob people of that by always saying no to their offers.

Hands down this has been the most difficult of all the deployments but every situation is temporary and soon it will end. Until then I need to sit when my body says sit and rest when my mind needs rest. The goal is to keep this little girl in as long as possible, to up the chances of Scott being home for her arrival, and for that to happen I need to take it a bit easier. Another goal of mine is to soak in as much time with Royal as I can before he’s no longer my only baby. It’s bittersweet so I want to make the most of these next 10 weeks with him. Both goals involve me slowing down to breathe and ignoring the 102 lists that are constantly building up around me. As long as we’re fed and healthy the rest can wait.

“My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.”
-Psalm 73:26

Girl.

31 Dec

The biggest highlight of this month was going to find out the gender of our sweet new baby! This ultrasound appointment is always the one I’m most excited for, because you’ll walk away knowing a huge piece of who your little one is going to be. You can go off of old wives tales all day long, but nothing can prove the gender until you get that confirmation from the ultrasound tech.

Scott and I have always prayed for God’s will in placing the right children into our family, so we never had fear of what gender we would be getting. We knew that whatever God had in-store for us was the very best! Even still, you have a gut feeling as a Mommy of what you think the baby will be and you get a little pouty when other’s opinions contradict that. It’s not that you’re frustrated with people, because you know they’re simply just taking a guess, but when you feel something soooo deeply down in your heart it’s hard to have others disagree with it. I at first thought this baby was a boy because my sickness and other symptoms mirrored my pregnancy with Royal so closely, but once we had our first ultrasound and I saw this little baby’s personality on the screen I just knew she was a girl. Baby was so calm and mellow during the ultrasound. I don’t know why but her very actions screamed “little girl” to me. I was the same way with Royal. I had no idea what gender he was until our 10 week appointment when I saw him on the screen and from the way he jumped around like a little wild monster I just knew he was a boy. Those first ultrasounds, with both of my children, solidified their genders for me.

The week leading up to the gender ultrasound I could hardly sleep at all. I would wake up at, or before, 4 am and not be able to fall asleep again until around 8. I was just so anxious to know! I am such a planner and not knowing an important detail eats at me. I was ready to know if we would be buying a crib to fit into Royal’s room or if we’d be changing our guest room into a nursery. I also knew with a girl we would need to do some shopping. If we were pregnant with another boy we would literally not need to purchase one thing because I kept EVERYTHING from having Royal. With a girl we wouldn’t need to buy the essentials, because we purchased gender neutral big items, but we would want to buy small things specifically for her. Really, most importantly we would need some PINK and SPARKLES. I think all the planning without an actual direction was keeping me up at night.

The morning of the appointment I drank my 16 ounces of water and jumped into the car. I nervously non-stop chattered to my mom the whole way there. (When I get nervous I talk….way too much.) Finally we arrived but we then had to wait for the couple in front of us to finish up. I almost screamed “HURRY UP” I was so impatient. When it was eventually our turn I expected Baby to give us a little trouble with seeing gender, because with Royal he was shy and I had to turn from one side to another over and over until he finally uncrossed his legs. Much to Scott’s dismay this baby was all too happy to show us and within 5 minutes we heard “Ready everyone?! Here are sister parts!” A GIRL!!! Scott teared up and I smiled my biggest smile. Royal is having a baby sister!fullsizerender-5I couldn’t think of a better fit for our family. I imagine Royal being a protective and sweet older brother. I picture Scott being wrapped ever so tightly around her little fingers and never allowing her to date. He’s always dreamed of torturing her future boyfriends and with her lack of being “shy” he may need to start cleaning those guns early. (Haha.) I for one can not wait to share girly things with her, while still showing her the fun in being nerdy and enjoying the outdoors. I pray she always has a joy for adventure and isn’t afraid to get her hands dirty. I also can’t wait to have a close friendship with her, like I have with my mom. Although I’m nervous for the middle and high school years, there’s nothing quite like that friendship that comes at the end of your teens when you realize that your mom maybe isn’t so clueless after all. I get to have that, along with every other precious memory we’ll make together. I’m so incredibly excited to meet her and to have her share in our family!img_6211And just like my post when we discovered Royal’s gender…

“Now comes the hard part…finding a name…

Wish us luck!!”

xoxoimg_6368

Baby #2.

30 Nov

I’m still in disbelief that God has blessed us with another baby on the way! What a perfectly timed blessing in our lives. God knew we needed something new and shiny to bring us joy during this difficult year of grieving.

When something so tragic and unexpected happens you feel as though happy things will never be able to happen again. You’re sure nothing will ever make your heart leap for joy and that you’re destined to always live in a state of gloom. God thankfully proves us wrong. He heals our hearts and then sends His blessings down, as a reminder that He is a God of goodness and faithfulness. I for one desperately needed this reminder.

I still have had a hard time completely accepting the joy of this baby. You almost doubt that something will even turn out right after a hard year. It wasn’t until I hit the 12th week of this pregnancy that I allowed myself to be happy. I was just so scared that we might lose the baby and have yet another set of grief to deal with. I think too that once you’ve had one miscarriage it takes away your ability to convince yourself that “it won’t happen to me” and you worry that it will again. I still worry a bit, but it’s more in the back of my mind and I’m praying for God to quiet my anxious heart. I just love and want this baby so badly and it terrified me to think of losing it.

I’m so very thankful for this sweet blessing and I can’t wait to see what our new life as a family of 4 looks like. Royal is so excited for the new addition. Royal’s constantly asking if he can “cuddle the baby” and he crawls up and lays on my stomach. It melts my heart. It’s funny to me that he can have an understanding of what’s happening even when we haven’t spent much time explaining it to him. It’s going to turn his little life upside down, but I truly believe he’s going to be a wonderful big brother and so very helpful with the new baby.

I wish more than anything that my Dad was here to share in this happiness with us because I know he’d be crying tears of joy and be cheering us on every step of the way, but I know that he’s celebrating in Heaven and he’s probably dancing a happy dance for his new grand-baby.

From tragedy comes triumph. From death comes new life.
We are blessed.

“To console those who mourn,
to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes,
the oil of joy instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair.”
-Isaiah 61:3a

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Sick boy.

28 Apr

Man, I don’t think there is anything more heartbreaking than having a sick baby. Royal has had his fair share of colds in his little lifetime but he’s never had such a bad fever. He woke up Tuesday morning with a 100 degree fever and it has only gone up from there. He hit a high of 103.3 during Tuesday night. Poor fellow. FullSizeRenderMy son is not one to enjoy cuddling but the past three days it’s all he’s wanted. I’ve always wished that he would cuddle me more, but now I’d be more than happy to trade the cuddles for my little boy to be full of energy and wiggles again. We’ve been spending the sick days lounging on the couch watching Winnie the Pooh, and Royal will doze off as he gets tired. He won’t let you out of his sight and he wants to be carried everywhere, so we’re all pretty much prisoners to this sickness. It’s just so sad to see how subdued Royal is in comparison to his usual independent personality.FullSizeRender (1)I wish there was some way to fix him more quickly. I hate not having the ability to take it from him. I know he’ll be better soon but I’m impatient. I can’t wait for this sickness to get the heck out of my Royal so that he can go back to being the force that destroys the house again. I miss my little tornado!

 

My Calendar Boys.

9 Oct

It’s International Babywearing week so I decided it was a fun week to share this story with you all. xoxo

In July I entered a picture of Scott and Royal into “The Studs of Abby’s Lane” calendar contest. Abby’s Lane is putting together a calendar of men babywearing their littles, with the procedes going to charity. I didn’t think much of it at the time, I just knew I loved the picture of my guys together and wanted to share it on the page. I didn’t expect it to make it into any of the voting rounds but still wanted to participate in the fun.

A few months later and over 800 entries later the page announced the top 40. I was shocked to see our picture among the others!! When Scott called that day, from Afghanistan, I told him all about entering him and that he had been chosen as one of the top 40. I was expecting “Babe…why did you enter me in that?!” instead I got “WHAT?!?! That’s awesome! Really? They chose me?!” I loved how excited he was! He then wanted to know all the details. I told him that the voting to get the top 24 would go for a week and at the end of that week the final round of voting would take place which would  determine the 12 final winners that would be in the calendar and win a free baby carrier. He was stoked!! (He’s so cute.)FullSizeRender (2)The first voting week went by and towards the end I knew that he would stay within the top 24 as he never moved below the 11th position in the contest. I was still amazed that others found this picture as adorable as I do seeing I know I’m a little biased. (Haha.)

Scott then moved into the final voting round and this is where the nail biting ensued!! We were so close and I knew how much it would mean to Scott so I really REALLY wanted this win for him. It was such a close competition and in the end Scott would make it with a lot of votes to spare!

WOOHOO!!! Calendar here we come!

114 I’m so excited and proud!!! I love this picture of my man proudly standing in his Air Force uniform and my little man supporting his daddy in a matching flight suit and aviator hat! Scott is also wearing our “First Flight” Tula, which means so much to us to have won the right to buy it from this very same shop! It was a hard one to acquire so I’m thrilled to own it and also to now have it be a part of winning this fun contest! Everything about this picture is perfection to me! Makes me smile everytime I see it! It’s been the background of my phone since I took this picture and after this contest has even more meaning to me.

What a fun experience! I can’t wait to purchase our calendar and to display it in our home! I’m most excited to find out what month Scott will be so I can call him “Mr. ______” for the rest of eternity! He’s gonna hate it!!! (Mwahaha!)

I’ll be sure to pass on the purchasing information once it becomes available in case any of you would also like to have Scott hanging on your wall! ;)

xoxo119

 

First Birthday.

12 Aug

I first of all can’t even deal with the fact that I now have a one year old!! What a year! It’s been wonderful but such a blur!! I’m really at a loss for words and the emotional aspect chokes me up so I’m just going to write about his wonderful birthday experiences instead of blubbering on about how my baby is no longer a baby! (Haha.)055We found out a few months ago that Scott would be deploying right before Royal’s first birthday, so we decided to fly home to Colorado for a big party with all the grandparents, friends, and family who live there. It was our way of making up for the fact that Scott would be missing the end cap of Royal’s first year.113I’ve always loved the “Hungry Caterpillar” and have read the book to Royal on numerous occasions, so I set that as the theme of his party. I had a blast finding cute things on Etsy and crafting the rest myself. My friend Danielle was such a help with decorating as well, and did a wonderful “First Birthday Board” for me. I had so much help with this party that I felt overwhelmed by all the love!!090It was raining on the day of the party but thankfully the rain passed just in time! Sadly, in place of the rain came such strong wind! We never have days like that but of course it had to be windy!! I’m not going to lie to you and say that I stayed calm and collected when the wind started foiling literally every plan I had for decorating. I was getting more and more frustrated as each thing I placed went flying across the park! I was barely holding it together when suddenly all the plates went soaring!! I lost it…I sat down on the bench near me and cried. I had such vision for this party and I wanted it to be perfect for my boy. After a good pep talk and a good hug from Danielle I was ready to take on this party again. I reminded myself that it wasn’t about the decorations, Royal wouldn’t even notice them or remember them! It was about the cake smashing and everyone celebrating his first year!080099095Finally everything got put together!! (In other words we taped everything down so it couldn’t move!!) Just as the last details were being finished people started showing up! It was so great to see everyone! We feel so very blessed to have all the friends that we do! It made me realize just how much I miss our little Junction community. Hopefully someday it will be home to us again.109104115My dad said a sweet prayer over Royal and then everyone started eating and visiting. Royal was happy to sit near whoever would feed him watermelon or goldfish. He was in such a “mommy phase” at the point of the party that I was truly worried that he wouldn’t let me put him down the whole time, but as long as he stayed distracted he was a social butterfly!094098097096092073Then came time for the cake!! He wasn’t so sure about it at first but once he got a taste of that icing he was hooked!! He was so gentle as he ate the cake. I expected him to rip right through it but as always…he surprised me. I finally had to smash his hand through the center just so he could get the full experience. He wasn’t a fan of the cake but the icing kept him eating! It was such a sweet moment for us as a family watching our guy eat his cake and listening to our close friends sing him Happy Birthday! I will always hold that memory close to my heart.119 124 149 royal bday 004

He loved opening his presents too! At one point I took a pause in helping him open them and he started signing “more”! He cracks me up. He quite enjoyed the whole experience of birthdays!130 136A few days before his actual birthday we went to have his cake-smash shoot! I’ve been looking forward to this shoot since his newborn pictures! It just looked like such a blast and the pictures are always so fun!! Tiffany has been taking Royal’s pictures since he was 2 weeks old so we were very excited for her to take these milestone photos for him! She’s so wonderful with Royal and I love visiting with her! Royal made us WORK for those shots though! He was more enjoying to explore the studio than to eat cake, but we just kept putting him back and finally he took a taste of that icing and he was all about it! Again, I had to smash his hand through it because he was being so gentle. He’s so funny. As always the pictures turned out spectacular!!00710431517_846714245425175_8593692023883860364_n 11703197_846716722091594_6103647146563320174_nOn Royal’s real day of birth, July 31st, I woke him up singing “Happy Birthday” and we immediately opened a few of his presents and played with them until nap-time. When he got up from his nap we watched “The Jungle Book” (his first Disney movie experience) and opened the next round of presents and played with them until we left the house to meet up with friends for frozen yogurt. Royal loves ice cream and frozen yogurt was an immediate love! I couldn’t spoon it in fast enough! He was spoiled by lots of love from our lovely friends and even got a few more presents! After yogurt I got Jimmy John’s for dinner (out of remembrance for the first meal I ate after labor) then we spent a quiet evening at home enjoying all of his new toys and I flipped through the pictures I’d taken over the last year. It was a sweet day made even sweeter by a Skype date with Scott.042 (2) 044 050 053 063 066 067059So there you have it! Royal’s birthday that kept on giving!

Thank you to everyone who helped us celebrate!!

We love you all!

9 months.

12 May

Royal 9 month

How do I have a 9 month old?!

Everyday I’m amazed by all the new things Royal’s doing. He’s been crawling for over a month now and he’s already climbing bookcases and cruising around furniture. I don’t know where my little newborn has gone but this new baby is into EVERYTHING! I love it though. It’s so fun to see him constantly learning about the world around him even if it means destroying my cute always organized house.

I’m quite OCD when it comes to my home. I hate untidiness and clutter. I have to constantly remind myself that it’s alright that there are toys scattered and things pulled off every shelf and low table. Mess making is part of the growing up process but when nap time hits I scurry around and get the house organized. It stays that way for about 0.5 seconds, once the baby wakes up, but that’s alright. This is my own slice of chaotic heaven.

royal09month

Royal also said his first word last month! Appropriately his first word was “Mama”. He says it every time he wants me to pick him up, wants me to feed him, or if he’s upset and wants comforting. I don’t think there’s ever been a word that has brought so much joy to me. My heart flutters every time his cute little self says it. I melt! He says “dada” but he hasn’t quite figured out how to connect it to Scott. I’m sure that’s next!

Today he started clapping his hands! It’s adorable and his face lights up in the cutest way every time we clap back at him. He’s my joy.

It’s amazing how every milestone both makes me proud and breaks my heart! I can’t believe how quickly this time is flying by. Everyone warned me but I don’t think there’s any way to prepare yourself. I’ll just have to continue to soak in every day with my sweet boy and enjoy every precious mess he makes!

royal9month•Images by Olive Gray Photography•

 

Settling into thankful.

20 Mar

It’s so weird being back home in Florida again. It felt almost like this place no longer existed when I was in Colorado. When I thought about our life here it almost seemed like a past life that I was only imagining memories of. Odd but true. So you can guess how strange it was to get back and realize it was all here just as we had left it, 5 months ago.

It’s eery walking into a place that was left exactly as you had it. How could so much have happened but nothing changed here? Funny.

We’ve spent our first few weeks here just figuring out our routine and decluttering the home we thought we had outgrown. Come to find out…it was that our junk had outgrown it, not us. Feels good to purge the things we don’t need, to reorganize, and my always favorite…REDECORATE!

I love redoing a space because it once again feels fresh and new! It’s almost like getting a new house without having to pack up all of your belongings and move! (I hate moving.) Granted I’m really only redoing the guest room but it was the only room I didn’t love in our home. I also finished Royal’s nursery with the canvas prints I had done of his newborn pictures. I could spend all day in that room. It’s exactly (if not better than) what I had envisioned when planning it.

It’s amazing how time consuming it has been to get back into the swing of things. I think it’s been most difficult to get Royal settled. The first week he didn’t sleep more than one hour at a time. Poor guy. Poor us too. Made it hard to get things done when you have no energy, a cranky baby, and so much to unpack. Eventually he realized this was home and then came sleeping during the night.

Being a wife, mom, and homemaker has always been my dream and here I am living the life I have always wanted. I can’t believe it sometimes when I realize I’m right where I have always wanted to be. It’s hard some days to be thankful but when it hits me that this is what I’m getting to do I feel so blessed and privileged. I have an amazing husband who makes a living so that I am able to stay home with our child, I have a son who is literally more perfect than I can even believe, and we have a roof over our heads in a place so close to the beach. How selfish I am to some days wake up and not feel overwhelmed with gratitude.

Thank you Jesus for this life!

Well as usual this post went a completely different direction than I had planned, but I like it better anyways. From talking about settling in to how I need to be more thankful. Lesson for my day…

Hope you’re all having a wonderful Friday!

xoxo

“Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the one who takes refuge in Him.” –Psalms 34:8

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